At the Army 2015 international trade show on Tuesday, Russian President Vladimir Putin unveiled a new exhibition on the grounds of what will eventually become a military theme park full of all sorts of bizarre attractions. Putin’s so-called “Patriot Park” is apparently meant to add “an important element in our system of military-patriotic work with young people” and motivate Russian youth to support his increasingly antagonistic regime. But despite the fact that the Russian government has dubbed it “Military Disneyland,” these particular thrill rides won’t exactly leave you pining for an overpriced hotdog or a pair of plastic mouse ears.

Still, Putin and his cabinet colleagues, the park’s biggest supporters, haven’t given up on trying to sell the idea as some sort of intensely satisfying adventure for children and teens alike.

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